The Jeice Show:
Mr Satan vs. Yajirobe: Battle of the Wimps
Episode Five

Pokemon Narrator: Last time, on the Jeice Show...
Digimon Narrator: HEY! This is my gig!
Pokemon Narrator: Oh, shut up, you cheap rip-off! You
didn't even show up until late in the Eighth Child
Saga!
Rocky & Bullwinkle Narrator: You all suck! I'm the
original Narrator and I was hired!
Author: SHUT UP! Listen, since you jerks can't choose,
I pick The DBZ Narrator!
DBZ Narrator: HAH! Anyway, two episodes ago, Yajirobe
challenged the pathetic embarrassed Satan to a match.
Uh... that's it.
(All other Narrators Applaud)
Pokemon Narrator: You totally suck!
DBZ Narrator: Well. What do you expect from
FUNimation?
Rocky and Bullwinkle Narrator: Good point.
Author: All of you. Just shut up.
(Cut to Jeice in his usual chair, with Burter lying on
the couch.)
Jeice: Hey, everybody! I'm Jeice and no, we aren't
changing our name to the Raditz Show. He freaking
works backstage, okay?
Audience: Booo!!
Jeice: Well... uh... he did work backstage... He's now the
executive producer.
(Backstage)
Zarbon: WHAT? THAT'S MY JOB!
Raditz: Not anymore, you fag!
Zarbon: THAT'S IT! (Whips Raditz with his hair braid,
decapitating him.)
Dodoria: You killed him... ALL RIIIIIIIIGHT!
Cui: WHOOOO! YOU RULE, ZARBON!
Nappa: DAMN IT! I WAS HIS ASSISTANT!
Cui: Not anymore!
Recoome: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Onstage)
Jeice: I just got news that Raditz is dead.
Burter: (Sits up.) Really?
Jeice: Yeah, Zarbon killed him.
Burter: How... sad... very... sad... (Stifles a laugh and runs
offstage.)
Jeice: While we cope with this... horrible... thing...
Here's a commercial... That sucks.
(Jeice runs offstage. Cut to commerical.)
Singers: Old Age Pervert Muten Roshis, Old Age Pervert
Muten Roshis, Old Age Pervert Muten Roshis, Roshis to
the rescue, GEEZER POWER!
Announcer: Yes, that's right, this is our new pilot
show. Pity us. Well, here's a clip...
(Scene; Four Master Roshis, named Fettuchini,
Leoretardo, Spumoni, and Bob in ninja garb are staring
at a sexy reporter, November What's-your-O'Deal)
November: Guys, we have to get downtown. The evil
Hedge-Clipper has- Oh no, are you staring at my butt
again?
Bob: Hehehehehehe... Yes.
Spumoni: Work it, baby...
(November smashes Spumoni's Cocoa Puffs, so to speak.
Spumoni hits the ground, twitching.)
Announcer: Oh god, I'm gonna commit suicide...
(Back to the Jeice show.)
Jeice: Well, our roving reporter... Uh... Cui... Has caught
up with Yajirobe training for his fight.
(Cui finds Yajirobe eating.)
Cui; Hi, Yajirobe!
Yaji: Hey. As you see, I'm bulking up.
Cui: Riiight.
Yajirobe: Hey, is that camera edible?
Cui: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(We see a close-up of Yajirobe's mouth and then we get
a lot of static.)
Jeice: Well How 'bout we go back to Old Age Pervert
Muten Roshis?
(Clip again. The OAPMT and November are still in the
sewers. Spumoni is zoning out.)
November: YOU GODDAMN LITTLE PRICKS, LET'S GET GOING!
Leoretardo: Actually, our Dicks our quite big. Eanna
see?
(November destroys Leo's Jewels. Back at the Jeice
show, there is a Sumo Ring.)
Jeice: Ladiiiiiieeeessss and gentlemen, weighing in
at... Uh... He weighs a lot... YAJIROBE!
(Yajirobe walks out to "Fat" By Weird Al Yankovic,
eating a burrito and twirling his sword.)
Jeice: And now presenting... Well, the only worthy
opponent for Yajirobe, the former fake hero of Earth,
MR. SATAN!
(Satan jogs in, shadow boxing and pathetically trying
to act tough.)
Satan: Hi everybody! If you want to see me kick
Yajirobe's flabby butt, give me a hell yeah!
Jeice: Er... Satan... A third of the crowd comprises of
evil bloodthirsty lawyers.
Satan: Oh, shi- Er, can what I said be edited?
Jeice: (Smirks) Nope.
Satan: Aw, maaan! Okay, well... Yajirobe, I will defeat
you, because you are evil and... stuff.
Yajirobe: I stand for love and justice! And that means
you! DAMN! Messed up again.
Jeice: Er.. Yajirobe... A PMSing Sailor Moon is in the
audience. I'm not sure if the others can hold her off
for long...
Sailor Mercury: Sailor Moon, he didn't mean to screw
up your lines.
Sailor Moon: (Big scary, intimadating voice.) KILL!
Sailor Jupiter: No! It shows that he respects you!
Sailor Moon: (Even more pissed.) KILL!
Sailor Mars: Stop it, you lemonhead!
Sailors Mercury and Venus: (Both sigh and walk off.)
Sailor V: Well, I give up.
Sailor Mercury: Yeah, it's hopeless...
(Assorted screams are heard as Serena thrashes the
other two)
Sailor Venus (Reverting to Ditz-Mode): So, do you, like, want to go to the, like, mall? They, like, have the new, like, N Sync, like, CD!
(Sailor Mercury stares at Sailor V for a moment, then pushes her into the fray and goes to another row or seats.)
Jeice: Uh... oookay... Well, let's start th' bloody fight, I'm getting ticked off 'ere!
(Yajirobe charges at Satan, than collapses, breathing heavily.)
Satan: What the hell? Eh... (Kicks Yajirobe twice.)
(Yajirobe slowly gets up.)
Yajirobe: I hate that Afro, let's re-do your hair! (Hacks Satan's Afro to shreds, cutting him once or twice too.)
Satan: BASTARD! SATAN SPECIAL-
(Yajirobe gets this weird look on his face, then he lets out a huge cloud of gas.)
Satan: Ack! Can't... breathe... (Chokes to death. Everyone else, however, has a gas mask on.)
Nappa: Anyway, Yajirobe wins and before we go, here's a bonus clip!
(back to the OAPMT and November W-Y-O'Deal. I like abbreviating things.)
November: COME ON! You guys are supposed to be Super Heroes!
Bob: You want Super? Look in my pants.
(You know what November does to Bob. Well, Fettuchini's the only one who has his manhood. I've had enough of these dumb sequences so I'll leave it at that.)
Next: TJS' gang and special guest star Tracey from Pokemon (DIE!) go camping in an episode I'd name if I actually gave names besides TJS: Episode - "AAAAAH! WILDERNESS!"